the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
