Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
