Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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