So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
