thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
