i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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