Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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