yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
