She's JV to your varsity
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Someone came in the potted fern
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
