just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
