oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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