We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
