Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I am available for nakedness
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