The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
