I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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