So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
