Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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