I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
this will be a night to untag.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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