Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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