Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
