i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
