so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
