he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
