he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
