if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
