I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
