There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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