Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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