That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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