between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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