doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.