i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?