Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Another day, another engagement, another cat
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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