Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
