hell yes lets make some ravioli
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize