Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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