playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
