i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
