Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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