It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
