Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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