Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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