God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
