I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
