Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
