i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
