The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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