and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
