her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
