I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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