Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
