"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
