i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My cat gives me a boner
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I want to be your penis for a week.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
