The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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