I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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