it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
