Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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