He kissed a someone with a penis
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
