Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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