just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
