I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
