It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
